I am in an intense state of grief. Grief of my former life that is falling apart day by day
People, habits, places and old ideas about what i should and should not are fading away
It is an empty but yet a full experience of deep prolonged emotions in my inner world
They scream to pop out of me to make space for what is yet to come in the nearby now
I feel more and more disconnected from others however the connection with myself is deepening
It often feels like there is an invisible wall between myself and the outer world like i’m there but i’m not
My inner world is screaming, talking, dancing, crying, rebirthing while my old life is dying and dissolving
I see through the illusion, the simulated state of this reality which was once very real to me
It’s a hard pill to swallow
The version, the roles i play are dissolving, i feel forgotten and sad for her that isn’t anymore
New life is emerging
It’s not there yet but it’s there
Light is on the horizon
Newest of new, livelihood like i never experienced before
New places, opportunities, relationships that are only present in the new world that is unfolding
This is so big
No worlds can explain how big this transition is
Words are limiting the greatness of the earthly changes
When i close my eyes i’m tired of the old life and persona that are dying inside
But i let it happen to reshape myself in the highest version i could ever imagine
New doors are opening in divine timing
Gifts, initiatives, talents, freedom, technologies, joy, relationships all in equilibrium with the original world and it’s timelines
Lots to get excited for
But let’s nog forget where we come from and let this proces of letting it go unfold in your own speed in your own process
It’s all part of a greater plan
When i feel lonely and disconnected i connect with myself and the new world that is emerging
So i trust even when it has to come out of my toes
It’s beautiful and deeply sad at the same time in perfect but not so perfect duality
It is what it is
~ Anita Sulis ~
